Over the course of the last half decade, I’ve learned some pretty strange truths about what tuning into the breath will do for your sense of reality. Some of these lessons I stumbled upon like you would a flawless agate on a beach, while others were mined through focus and contemplation.

1. Reality gets more and more beautiful the more you let go of controlling it.

The secret that no one talks about is that you can let go of every single problem in your life. Giving up trying to control reality is like realizing that you can steer a hulking cruise liner without touching the wheel. The more you relax into whatever life presents you, the happier you will be. Freedom comes from the release of tension between what you have and what you want. When there is no difference between those two worlds, you begin to inhabit a secret alcove in reality that you never knew was there. It’s as if in the craggy, uninhabitable shores of existence, there is a lush, green oasis nestled into the cliff that reveals plants nourished by seawater. You can inhabit this alcove any time you choose, but you must know that it is there to choose it.

The more you can relax your grip on your version of reality–letting the reality that is in front of you become the reality you want–everything changes. Letting go tends to be the easy part–though it is in no way easy. The work tends to be returning to that idea, moment after moment.

2. Meditation has the potential to make you lonely.

When you begin to taste the transcendent, you will feel like you’ve discovered that you are the richest person in the world and never knew it. You’ve discovered the most valuable treasure of your life; it’s free; it’s forever; it’s uniquely yours; it’s transferrable to others; and no one can ever take it away from you. When I began meditating, I wanted to shout from the rooftops after wordless conversations I would have with the Absolute left me breathless. I wanted to tell people about it, spread the news, and get everyone else to start meditating so they could see the ripe peach bursting with flavor that sits right in front of them. “Life is here and now!” I wanted to scream. But people didn’t understand. The experience of a dedicated meditation practice reaps huge rewards, but the rewards come after you experience them for yourself. Meditation opened my eyes to how many people have never experienced the joy of presence–and that makes it difficult to talk to people about mindful breaths and the life’s perfection.

3. Meditation will become something you are, not something you do.

Meditation doesn’t feel like something that I “do” anymore. It feels like an inseparable part of me, a lover’s locket that a tree has grown around. It used to be the activity that I would do and then forget. But now, living more mindfully–one task at a time–is something that gives me access to freedom, freedom to step into life itself. The more I meditate, the more that I realize that I truly am meditation, as we all are. This state of calm and ease we can inhabit isn’t just luck. This is our base nature, and seeing through the protective mechanisms leading us away from that truth will help you realize this. Underneath everything is a foundation of love and ease.

4. You will feel less pain.

I’ll never forget being packed deep in the back row of a taxi minivan in Port au Prince, Haiti. The car was so crammed full of people’s luggage that I couldn’t turn my head because there was a suitcase next to my left ear. I had food poisoning, and I desperately had to both throw up and go to the bathroom. It was a three hour ride from Port au Prince to the Dominican border where I needed to cross. I spent the entire ride meditating. There was nothing that I could do except pay attention to my breath and observe my stomach ache. Meditating on the pain helped me get through it. Emotional pain is no different. Being able to observe your pain without attaching to it allows you to move through pain like fog through a forest, flowing around it without resistance.

5. You will begin to wonder why you have so many things.

The treasure to end all treasures is already yours. Why fight for that new Jeep Wrangler when you understand that holding onto things only invites suffering in this perpetually changing world? Why strive for more than enough since it will only lead you away from joy? Valuing things more than valuing your mind means you haven’t truly grasped what your mind is. The game ends when you realize you’ve already won. Seeing your living space piled up with objects makes you wonder how you’ve been living this way. Sure, you have a use for some of them, but the real joy is internal.

These five truths have been unexpected insights I’ve gained from half a decade of meditation. Understand these five truths, and you are one step closer to tasting the infinite, one moment at a time.