The present moment is always now. Life is happening to you at this moment. It’s isn’t a far-flung destination that you get after flying thirty-six hours and taking two red-eye flights. Life is this very moment, here, now.

We miss this fact. We are addicted to the future. Humans love anticipation. This study from the journal Applied Research in Quality of Life found that a person derives joy simply from planning a trip because of the anticipation. We love to live in the future because anything can happen. There are no dishes to wash or clothes to fold. There is just the sunlight and the sand, the waves and the pink umbrella in your iced drink. Sounds nice, right?

It’s an illusion. The world that we live in is happening to us right now. Choosing the future is choosing a mirage. No wonder so many people are unhappy; their meaning relies on getting through today to get to tomorrow–which never comes.

Living in the past is just as bad. Getting drunk on nostalgia isn’t just for college reunions. We attach to what has happened and disappear from here. Idealizing the past rips us out of the present. It forces us to compare our experiences to a golden age. Of course comparison brings pain because you’re no longer in those halcyon days. Whether in the past or future, the mind smooths the edges of discomfort we are trying to escape.

This society trains us to expect short-term gains. The default American diet is cheap carbs and sugar. The default sleeping pattern is to collapse from exhaustion after binge-watching shows. The default dating scene is a right swipe.

No one, however, talks about short-term thoughts. Living in the past and future are short-term ways of existing. We get to revisit old times where our imperfect memories filter out the details. We get to envision new narratives about ourselves without the mundane details. Either way, we chase the short term opium high.

The strange thing about people stuck in the past and future: the power to change is always right here. Presence is how you bring your past back into the present. If you’re idealizing living near close friends in college, presence means doing a single task right now that will legitimately recreate that feeling. Research places to live where people know their neighbors. Look into joining a coliving space. We love thinking of a happy place without the work of getting there–but we feel that gap between then and now precisely because we aren’t present.

The future is no different. Are you dreaming about white sands and early morning flights? The present moment is the only chance you will ever have to make that dream a reality. Start now by planning out where you want to go on vacation. Set forth on a task that gets you closer to that future. It’s simple. The reason there’s a gap between our present and our future is because we aren’t living in the moment.

Don’t live in this world without living in it. Whittling away your time in the past and future only makes your life miserable. When you return to reality, you don’t compare it to your life as it was or will be, which creates pain. Instead, focusing on one task helps actualize what you see in your mind. Apply gentle, unyielding attention. Then repeat.

Ultimately, we don’t want the past or the future–we want progress. And there’s no better place to make progress than the present.