Stories dull the vibrancy of life. Take careers. When you’re young, you want to be a President, pilot, or priest. As you age, even if circumstances change–coming into money or meeting a mentor–the story of missed opportunities becomes more real than the truth itself. Given the chance to change, you stay static. You doubt yourself and become the stories you’re told, but never the inverse.

Surrender is letting go completely and accepting what remains. We let life dole out blessings and blows. There is only the illusion of control. The highs become evidence of success, the lows evidence of failure. Surrender lets you transcend the siren’s call. You let reality become your story.

What does it mean to surrender? Surrendering means accepting your situation. Don’t say “I lost my job but Sarah might get fired too, so I will apply for her job and reclaim my spot in the company.” It further ties you to your story. You refuse reality and instead fight to keep the narrative. When we expect life, we reject life. Say “I lost my job.” That’s not a story. This elevates you to the level of reality.

Surrender is the master switch. When you get too attached to anything, you can always choose acceptance. You can always turn off attachment. Through meditation and mindfulness, you return to the breath. The breath has no story.

You are caught in a loop of never-ending pain. You’ve been taught that life is peaks and valleys. This is another story. There is a better way. Can you let go of what you hold dearly so that something fresh and new can come your way and amaze you? Surrender opens you to the world waiting for you. If you never sign for the package, you never get to open it.

Everything you need is coming your way. Don’t fear what you don’t know. Life can lead you astray, but this is good news. Going off-course always brings you closer to your true place in the universe. You realize the path isn’t right. You redirect.

Surrendering can be trying. Disappointment is the signal to practice surrender. Disappointment means you’re attached to a story that’s changed. The universe starts a new draft. Sometimes, you feel isolated because the world changes but you don’t. In this space, there is one thing to do: surrender. Once you surrender, you can take action.

When you surrendered 50,000 years ago, you died. But even today, it doesn’t feel natural to accept things that won’t kill you, like a boring meeting. Surrender doesn’t excuse you from the work, but it’s the first work that needs to be done. Surrender. Accept. Release. And begin again.

Your situation is the situation you’ve been given. Work with it. There is no use fighting the universe–it has 13.8 billion years of practice. Instead, flow with reality. Use the current to take you to new places. Push the rock downhill. Make the world your friend. Make reality your reality.

Surrender can only happen in a space of acceptance and growth. When we stop fighting, the war ends. Accept your situation for what it is. If you do, you’ll find yourself on the other side of surrender. And on the other side of surrender, you meet peace.